A Panic, A Play And A Point

Lynn Ferguson wrote a play a while back. Before I married her. Before I even met her. That play is just as relevant now, if not more so, than it was back then.

But when you tell someone in Los Angeles that your wife's doing a one-woman theatre show... 

You're met with a glimmer of panic in their eyes.  They freeze, making no facial movements, trying desperately to hide their panic. They're picturing in their mind that time they went to a lovely friend's play... and lost 2 hours of their life whilst their normally amazing friend subjected them to to their complete acting range of accents, silly voices, anger, shouting, top hat wearing and tap dancing... And all in a tiny theatre where to exit would mean walking in front of the stage. 

There is no cage, in any jail, that makes you feel as trapped as you do in such a situation.

I reduce the panic by saying, "It's a play about a woman falling in love with a fish."

15-20% of the panic is lifted. Comedy in LA can be just as excruciating as any play... however the venues usually have an easier escape route!

I don't know what to say at this point.

"It's won awards" I say feebly.

"It's played to sold-out venues in Edinburgh, Melbourne, Hong Kong and London." I say proudly.

"It's only 55 minutes long." I say desperately.

If the panic hasn't gone then nothing can reduce it now!

On Thursday (Dec 1st) Lynn started a three Thursday run at the Sidewalk Studio Theatre.

Lynn chips away at the panic of being trapped in a small theatre from the moment you enter. She's not hidden away. She's talking to friends and being introduced to their friends. She hasn't broken the 4th wall, she doesn't believe it exists. 

It's difficult to describe the journey exactly but:

1. You find yourself laughing, laughing a lot,
2. You start to feel an affinity with that woman who falls in love with a fish, 
3. You start to get annoyed at a society that doesn't tolerate difference,
4. You understand the isolation and the choices being made,
5. You never want to eat fish again! (perhaps),

And then you find that you don't want to leave that tiny theatre... and you want to talk to everyone... especially Lynn.

David (the fish) is interchangeable with any difference that you or your friends have endured. 

Race, religion, sexuality, gender identity, political view... 

We're all different and this play helps us see the joy in the differences. 

Tickets: http://www.youtellyours.com/product-category/theatre/

The end and the beginning.

I started this blog because I had damp shorts. 

I was sitting at the edge of a pool trying to persuade my youngest son to take part in his swimming lessons. 

He's a 'spirited' child and he wasn't convinced in the utility of the activity. 

He was 3 then and so he frequently expressed that I was still failing to convince him... through the medium of performance art; aka tantrums.

Eventually I became unconvinced of the utility of his swimming lessons too. They were just expensive, emotionally-draining paddling sessions.

I started this blog Aug 2nd, 2010 and Lachlan started swimming fully unaided last year (2015)! However my blogging ground to a halt much earlier. 

So now what?

I know I should really be blogging and making videos about digital marketing for my QuirkyBranding endeavor. But for some reason I hesitate. Ultimately I procrastinate.

Lately I've been taking my wife's storytelling classes and so twice now I've stood up in front of an audience to tell a truthful, personal story without notes or prompts.  (See the videos in the sidebar)

Surely I should be able to start writing a blog post once in a while?

Perhaps I should start back here at DampShorts.com?

I think I'm virtually sitting at the edge of another pool, except this time it's me that needs to start swimming. 

I know I'm not alone in this affliction. 

Every business owner I talk to struggles with this. They know they should be blogging, they should be posting on social media, and now video is THE thing to be doing. 

But the business work is never finished, and the business is what they're good at, and learning new content creation skills takes time, and they're not a good writer, and they hate hearing their voice or seeing their face on video, and.. , and...

But I know how to create content. I know how to build email lists, shoot videos, share posts, design leadpages... I should have no excuse. 

My excuse? 

Fear  - Just like Lachlan's fear of swimming. 

Fear that I'll write something that's plain wrong. 

Fear that I'll be ridiculed. 

.....

Well, we all know fear sucks... 

So I guess I better get started!

What's stopping you? 

Lazy Days.

Thermometer-lazy-4 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On Thursday, I was collecting my two boys from school. I parked in a secluded parking spot that's quite close to the school and the other parents haven't discovered yet. I waited at my younger son's classroom, because my older son always comes running over eventually and if I go looking for him we'll just end up chasing him around the school grounds.

Sometimes I guess I can seem quite lazy, searching out the closest parking space to the school and not bothering to chase down my eldest son. However, I do work extremely hard when it matters. Honestly I do. But I despise wasting effort and will always look for easier and faster ways to get stuff done.

A lot of the other parents at my sons' school park their cars, err... disrespectfully(?) They block driveways, double park and recently I came across someone who inconsiderately took up three spaces so that they could be parked under the shade of a tree! This Thursday however,  it became clear to me that all I thought I knew about laziness was nothing. I was an amateur.

At first I didn't understand what was going on. An older lady appeared to be idly rolling about on the sidewalk, however as I got closer I realized she had fallen over and couldn't get up. Along with another parent, I helped her to her feet. She said that she was fine and just had a weak, sore knee. Then the passenger window of a double parked Porsche lowered, and a woman shouted from the driver's seat, "You ok Mom? Do you want me to get *child's name*." Now grasping the school fence for balance, and shuffling towards the gate, 'Mom' shakily replied, "No, I'll be fine."

I'm not lazy. Neither is 'Mom', but there's a certain Porsche driver...

Thankfully the police have started a crack down on lazy parking at my boys' school.

However, this cop wasn't exactly parked on moral high ground... unless it's marked with a red curb!

Doesn't that red paint mean something?

Please note that if you are a cop then I have the utmost respect for you. And further, if you are the cop I photographed giving out tickets, then I thank you. Those tickets were well worth your minor parking indiscretion.

But let's face it, if I possibly can then I will poke fun at the law and law officers. Like the scorpion and the frog, it's in my nature. And if law enforcement officers would like to target my car with tickets, then I drive a silver  Porsche... *coughs nervously*