Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dressing up.

I saw a pair of fabulous shoes the other day, they were a kind of high wedge.  Elegant and rustic, all at the same time.  I'd just met the wearer of the shoes at another of those Brits in LA breakfasts, so I felt comfortable enough to say how much I liked them.  However, that started one of those discussions about whether women wear such sexy shoes to attract men or whether it's just for their own personal pleasure.

Discussions like this are potential minefields for men.  In the past, I would have said that I agreed that, for most women, they choose their clothes and shoes for themselves without any thought of men.  But I might not have perhaps entirely believed that view, I'd maybe, perhaps, have just said it to avoid any, er, difficulties.  Weak or just pragmatic? Anyway, now that's changed.  I didn't just say it, I meant it.  

Being the stay at home parent, everyday is casual, dress-down Friday and I've loved it.  When I was out working, I'd always avoid wearing a suit if I could.  The only time I'd really care about my appearance was when I was out looking for, err, em.... I'm talking about before I met Lynn, I had needs!  

I'm pretty much in shorts and a T-shirt every day, so now I'm much keener to spruce up a bit when I go out.  Nothing drastic, maybe some long trousers, occasionally a shirt, sometimes even a suit.  I even wore my kilt to a gala once, though I suspect that the effect a kilt has on American ladies, is something best enjoyed before any marriage commitments... and I thought men were meant to be the ones objectifying!

I still can't fathom the female psyche, but being the stay at home parent, I think I have lost a number of my lazy assumptions or prejudices.  It's difficult to define them all, prejudices tend to be hidden from their owner; disguised as facts, or jokes, or stereotypes.  I'm clear with this one though, women dress in a way that they like, and they do it for their own self image and happiness.  As much as men might like to think that killer heels and tight tops were all chosen for their viewing pleasure, that only really exists in a certain sort of gentlemen's establishment, and true gentlemen would never frequent such a place.

It's not just female to care about your appearance.  Sure, my friends that are parents of girls, say that school free dress days are their recurring nightmare.  Boys tend to follow styles and fashions in their teens and twenties as they strive to fit in or rebel.  However as an adult, in the absence of employer or client pressure to follow accepted norms, you decide what makes you feel good about yourself, and sometimes that means dressing up.  

However, I shan't be wearing heels anytime soon.... they don't look right with my kilt.