Friday, March 11, 2011

Guilty

The guilt trip starts here.
I feel like I achieved nothing last week.

Monday was probably the best day of the week.  My youngest had a trike-athon at his pre-school.  He was the epitome of awesome. (I must be proper a American now just by using the 'awesome' word.)  Initially all the kids were a little confused.  My guy just kept shoving his oversized rollerskate thing into the back of whoever was unfortunate enough to get in the way.  So I told him to go around and overtake his class mates.  Well he liked this and so he immediately turned the procession into a race.  Not a normal race as he was the only one racing, but by the end of it there was no doubt as to who had won.  My boy did 8 laps and his closest rival did 5.

He didn't win because it wasn't a race, however if there ever is a race he will have the mental advantage through his performance that day!

When I picked him up from pre-school later on, he seemed a little warm.  After we'd been home for about 30 minutes he was definitely hot and so I immediately gave him some paracetamol to lower his temperature.  Young kids can be susceptible to febrile convulsions due to fevers and there has been some history in our family, so we never take chances.

And that was the beginning of the end of my week.  He was fine all day Tuesday - and so he should have been, Dad was on hand at a moments notice for his every whim.  He wasn't lethargic and was fever free, so I took him back to pre-school on Wednesday.  By 10:30 he was back home, having had another mild fever.  He had another episode later in the day and so I took him to see the doctor on Thursday morning.  Apparently he had a mild bronchitis, so he has yet more antibiotics and had to stay home on Friday too.

In my mind, throughout the week I failed to give the level of care and attention to my son that I should have.  At the same time, I had tried to continue to progress my existing projects and tasks, but ultimately I had failed to make headway as much as I thought I could have.  I felt that I should have taken him to see the Doctor on Tuesday, not waited till Thursday and that I should have been able to focus my time more effectively to achieve more.

When I talked to Lynn about how rotten I felt about the week, I discovered that this is not an uncommon experience for the stay at home parent.  As ever, she managed to sum the whole thing up in a sentence.  "When you're looking after a sick child, you earn a PhD in Guilt."

So I am trying to cut myself some slack.  No one was hurt.  I juggled one sick kid, one healthy child's school schedule and still managed to progress some of my project commitments.  It's not a race and even if it were, it's not a race that can be won.
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