Thursday, September 2, 2010

Beware child working above.

It's been another few days of tantrums.  There's been a lot on and my 3 yr old has really had to work to get center stage.  Lynn's back at work and my 7 yr old has just had his first day back at school today.

There are hazards every where you go with an unruly 3 yr old.

Staples placed those candy-containing helicopters things at toddler eye level, next to the line to pay.  The line was long with the other struggling parents - who were also ticking off their child's 'back to school list' at the last possible moment before school starts.  I'm slightly surprised that between us we had the organizational skills to even form a line.

This time I can't completely blame my little monster.  Staples should know better and, when they look at the state of their stock of helicopter candy things, I hope they "embrace this learning opportunity."  It was clear to me from the damaged display and the grubby, broken candy that my boy was not the first to attempt to fight for these things.  It was even clearer to me that there was no way I was paying for one either.  I coped, but only just, by promising cookies in the car.  There was still some 'difficulty' but the cookies scam was working.  Then we got to the checkout.  MORE helicopters and this time, M&M helicopters!  All reasoning was lost at this point.  Somehow I held him, dodged most of the blows and stopped him from vaulting the checkout.  I even managed to pay and leave with both children.

Sometimes you just have to go to Target,  though I've managed to significantly reduce my Target habit due to my boys' help.  The eldest is convinced that Target only exists as a means for him to manipulate us into buying him more toys.  And my little monster seems to love nothing better, than to either run off or lay on the floor thumping his fists and feet on the ground, shouting his disgust at not being given free reign.  Yesterday, he hatched a new plan...

First he bided his time and remained calm.  He sat in the cart and pretended to fall for the, 'We'll all go to the park for a picnic after this' ruse.  Then when he saw the Handy Manny toy set he wanted.  He waited just a little longer.  He asked politely to get out from the cart.  Then, the moment his feet touched the ground he was off.  I had had a suspicion this would happen, but I was prepared and not too worried as the toy was high up, on the second from top shelf.  This proved no problem at all to the resourceful little monster.  If you remove the toys on the shelf you can reach, then you make space to use that shelf like a ladder...  In not time at all, i.e. in the time it takes Dad to haul your 7 yr old brother over to you, it is very possible to get what you want and then leg it down the aisle.  What got me, was that he also had the cheek to avoid running and just walk with purpose... making me look like the crazy, demented one!

I couldn't remove the toy from him without risking breaking it, so I waited till checkout time.  He helps by placing items on the conveyor belt...  I 'helped' by removing the Handy Manny toy and placing it on top of the handily tall refrigerator.  Too tall for my boy?  No.  If you stand inside a stack of Target baskets and then balance on the edge of the top basket, then a short monster can reach all the way to the back of the top of the refrigerator.

I left it till the last possible moment before removing the toy from his grasp.  I know it was the last possible moment, because the guy at checkout had just accused me of letting my boy steal the toy.  I did prevail, but my 7 yr old took a blow to the face from Handy Manny and I had to leave with 2 screaming boys.

There are hazards every where you go with an unruly 3 yr old, but mostly he's the hazard.